Cafe Talk #4: “HARMONIZE WITH ME MAGGOT!” (a Ren-fest experience)

Grab some hot apple cider or a chilled fruit drink because it’s finally time for another “Cafe Talk!” Chinese food, old men in capes, and bee swarms – This one’s a doozy but I’ve managed to get it all (and no, I’m not just trying to reach to a wider audience)! I won’t be leaving an outro at the end like I usually do, so if you have had similar experience you HAVE to let me know in the comments! While you’re at it, feel free to hit the like if you enjoyed the story 🙂

First some prior knowledge:

I frequent a Renaissance Festival every year with my family and I absolutely love the art of it. It started off as my siblings and I performing music with a Celtic group in “The Chapel,” but when the academy went under we stopped going because we had to and started actually enjoying the festivities.

Flash forward and I’m eating Chinese food on a Friday night. I know right, great way to spend the day. But after devouring my beef fried rice, my fortune cookie did as they usually do: It told my future.

Next week, green is a lucky color for you.

So I got super paranoid and tried to remember to wear green throughout the week. I think I managed to fit one day in, sporting a regular lime Nike shirt, but nothing “spectacular” happened. In fact, I was probably even more exhausted that day . . . But Saturday came around ( I realize that a new week would have passed the Friday right before, but it’s a fortune cookie, and their magic can be a bit iffy at times), and this was our family’s planned day to wake up at the freakin’ crack of dawn, dress like fools  epic knights, elves, what have you, and arrive at the Renaissance Festival at 10 AM-ish. Due to my crazy student life (also noticeable by the lack of posts, sorry), I had virtually no time to prepare a costume like I usually do. So what did I end up with?

My makeshift Attack on Titan cosplay outfit. It’s the stereotypical neat jacket, the tight-ass white jeans, that leather skirt thing, a plain gray shirt, and my brother’s old Ren-fest-bought leather boots that resembled giant socks after so much wear and tear. Lastly, a short leather cloak with metal clasps with a freakin’ awesome hood that I bought in the previous year or two to function as the Scouting Regiment’s symbolic flare. Seems legit, so no biggie.

Long story short, I had a fantastic weekend. My weirdo sister kept SnapChatting pictures of an old man in a red cape, crown, and shades who, I’m SO SORROW OLD MAN, looked like a fool. My mom ordered a delicious apple-pie-ice-cream-thing-which-has-a-name-that-escapes-me, and was pretty much attacked by bees that buzzed around occasionally (they left after a while). The sad part in that is that my mom hardly orders anything for herself, but at least she liked the dessert! Anyway, she ended up buying herself a damned nice black cloak and a fancy blue corset, so it all worked out.

Seriously though, awesome weekend! But the story doesn’t end there . . .

We spent the whole day there. Tired in my sock boots, we were making our last rounds of enjoying the smell of roasted peanuts and turkey legs, the cloudy atmosphere, the assorted wooden structures in the hills, and the cool 60-degree HEAVEN until we ran into a large group of young adults. I looked down as per usual and kept to myself, but then an enchanting cosplayer in a white and red fox outfit called:

“MY YOUNG TITAN SLAYER, come hither ~!”

Something like this.

F*ck.

What do I do?? EVERYONE was looking at me, but I couldn’t even notice them I was so nervous. I bumbled around but quickly accepted my fate. This could have been a call of sorts, you know?

Honor took over me, and I did the fist over heart salute like they do in the show. Everyone smiled.

I approached the now nicknamed fox demon woman and, after a bit of small talk – her spewing compliments about my wondrous leather one-of-a-kind Scouting cloak – the tall man in the group towering over me (whom I now just noticed) gave a hearty chuckle. The fox lady and the others coaxed their bud into saying something that I’m not sure he himself was wanting to say or do, but he did:

“I can do an impersonation of Keith Shadis’ abridged voice from the YouTube video.”

“Well,” I sputtered, “You have to do it now.” hehehe

And then, clearing his throat, he yelled the scene during training camp right before he twists Armin’s neck. He yelled it loud and proud, starting with the “sweet mother” part.

“Do you sing?”

“No,” I sputtered, according to the skit.

“HARMONIZE WITH ME, MAGGOT!!” woooaaahhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

“WAHAHAHAHGAGAGAAGAHAHHAHHAHAHHAHAH!!!!” I screeched at the top of my lungs.

Then he twisted my neck, gently of course. And it was awkward for everybody.

Oh Internet, how you . . . scare me sometimes. But seriously, where’s the lie?

It was the first time anything like this had ever happened, but oh boy, how I’ll never forget. Everyone around was sharing good cheer, smiling and laughing. I, like everyone else, applauded his and my efforts to pull it off.

That’s when the fox-lady burst out how cool of a guy I was, and then she asked a fatal question:

“Wah, you’re so freakin’ awesome!! Do you have Facebook or something so that I can contact you?”

Ouch. Yep, I’ve got no social media. Just an email, a phone number, this cafe, and of course my MAL . . .

WAIT?!? Doesn’t every anime fan under the sun have a MyAnimeList account??

Too bad I didn’t think of that in time. 

I replied with a weak “no,” and she and the rest were like, “Bummer, well this was so much fun, anyway! :D” I had missed my chance at a real-life stranger-to-friend situation. I had failed as a human. I mean, I didn’t want to just give my email, isn’t that a bit too personal for not having even getting to know each other?

But then she glimmered with hope. “Do you go to any conventions? Maybe we can meet up again sometime for something silly like this!”

“NAKA-KON!” I probably shouted hoarsely. Maybe there is a chance at redemption now!

“Cool! Well then, we’ll be seeing you around!”

And that was that. Two seconds of fame but no way to ever get it back. Perhaps this spontaneous coincidence was meant to be. Heck, a nearby girl in Scouting Legion cosplay ended up being right behind me, and after hearing our skit, she ran up to me with a high-five and we took a picture. So one with her, and one with the other big group. Proud memories to cherish as an anime fan!

We had no Armin since I have dark hair, but hey, pretty much.

So what was the message in it all? It is what it is, or it’s all ultimately left up to Fate? I’m not really too sure myself. But as for my fortune cookie I hinted at in the beginning (but sadly managed to squeeze no luck out of), what color was my Scouting Regiment cloak – the very thing that spotted me out from the crowd?

Oh damn it all.

🙂

– Takuto, your host